This is the topic that everyone talked and wrote about at least once, if not more. It is an interesting topic, and I personally can’t skip a post that touches any aspect of it.
But I sometimes wonder, how come we always try to analyze it.. in an attempt to come up with advices, solutions, or just write down our thoughts and share what we think we know .. talk out of experience or just for the sake of talking ..when deep inside we all believe it’s a subject that doesn’t really need so much thinking. Each and every relationship is different.. you just can’t compare or give advices based on what you have been through.. simply because that was another thing.. each relationship has different circumstances, and conditions that are related and linked to that certain one in particular.
Some people say we have learned lessons from what we have been through, but I think this should not be the case.. it happens that what is deep inside lives with you.. grows with you.. and you can’t be thinking of what you are currently living based on what you have learned. You don’t need to do that.. things that happened were history, that was past and you can’t drag it to the present! It’s a buried chapter.. and most probably they won’t happen again. You can’t live every minute expecting the worst… and you can’t let fears control you.
This is why I would always say that relationships are not a topic to analyze .. you can’t feel confident enough or in the right position to give advices regarding what or how should relationships be. It is something that each and everyone should experience on his own.. live.. and keep everyone out of it! In most disagreements between couples, when people get involved it might get worse not better. Unfortunately, there are many people out there (they might even be relatives or close friends) who don’t realize how sensitive things can get or be. A sentence or a simple word that is said without deep thinking might add fuel to the fire..
Relationships can be extremely complicated, this is why I learned that if there are problems between two partners.. and if i don’t have anything positive to say then it’s better not to say a thing. No one really knows what happens inside the house but the people who live in it.. so regardless of all that is said and shared, there will always be some issues that only the two really know.
It is a topic I personally enjoy.. It is more like a mystery.. no matter how far you think you reach or how wise you think you are, you’d be surprised to learn that there is still more to know and this is only the beginning..
Comments
wow.. you couldn’t be any more right on this issue than anyone else. I read so many relationships advices, but yours is the only one that makes sense. Just leave to the couple alone to work out please!
I think the first rule is, no teasing. Don’t joke about stuff when you’re having a discussion. That pisses your partner off more than anything. Just be calm and rational when there’s a discussion. And second, you’re right, don’t say anything if you’re not sure how the other person will take it.
As for the cartoon, I have dated (and quickly dumped) women who think that way, that they must keep testing their partner to make sure the partner is dedicated. Being difficult is easy… being nice is hard. ;-)
Wisdom beyond your age and newlywed status!
A good post Dima:) I do agree with you, Most of the advices and suggestions can work out for someone but not for me! But there are some that are like a standard! Advices that can be applied on almost all different kinds of relationships, normal ones at least…
You hear them from those elder ones with wisdome and you might think “This isn’t true, not for me!” and then later on when you go through different experiences you just think again “That was right! I should have listened”…
It’s kind of healthy to have a trust worthy person whom you can rely on and ask for advices whenever you are pretty confused, It really helps a lot,Not all the time though;)
But this is what life is all about, learning from other ppl’s experiences and lives:)
Rebellious Arab Girl.. :) Yeah just leave them alone,,, they will eventually find their own way out!
Marvin the Martian.. I hate testing too! It shows lack of trust! This is not the right way to nourish a relationship and make it grow.
Kinzi .. THANK YOU!!!! :)_ you really made me blush here :$
nido.. maybe! but i still insist that some of them work, not all.. every person has different needs, and priorities.. you can’t generalize and say Oh this is the perfect advice, exactly what I needed! Believe me when I say my married sister’s advices are different than my single sister. Not only that but they are in the opposite direction! Your one worthy person should be someone who has the experience, who went or are going through EXACTLY what you’re experiencing.. and where would you find that one?! No where! :)
i just wrote something similar yesterday! lol telepathy :D
i think its human nature to wanna analyze and critisize relationships until we supersize every single detail..! and thats very wrong IMHO.. things shud be taken as they come.. allah 5ala2 e5tein ma 5ala2 tab3ein, every 2 ppl differ, and every relationship is unique in its own way and generalizing or predicting the result of another relationship on urs is just being unfair.
well said damdoom. God bless u and urs bannout :)
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