‘Photo taken by: D’

It is when I realize that I am spending all my time on research and studying, I look out of the window.. and wonder how would it feel to have all the time in the world again, how would it feel to relax, how would it feel just to enjoy.. Am I missing out on all what can be fun!!? At times like this, when I desperately need a break, when I need to go back and taste the sweetness of not worrying about time, not worrying about deadlines, group meetings, finals.. the answer would be simple and clear.. YES, I AM!

I must admit that one of the most important things I have learned during those two semesters is structuring. And not only on paper, but in thinking too. I used to complicate things, and didn’t really know from where to start when having to write anything. When I look back at my very first assignments, It amuses me how much this all have changed.. the style of writing, research and applying the right ways to support any arguments.

Whenever I see people wearing graduation gowns it makes me yearn for next semester (which is the last). But I keep thinking, would I really want to stop the research.. would I be happy to be done with all that Im learning!? There will always be a part of me that wants more.. more knowledge, more education, more definitions, more new concepts, more of being able to talk in any topic and any discussion, more of valid arguments, more of different opinions, .. just more of all.

So would this be a first step for something big? would the little bits of research we’re doing now be just the beginning…

I hope so, and I want so.. studying here is different, it’s definitely more rewarding, stronger, and powerful. Im not the same person I was a year ago. And the more I think about it, the more I want to move forward and go further..

It would be more fun to get some exciting unexpected news from time to time.. but what I find extremely strange is that even those whom I lost contact with and now we’re back in touch, I wasn’t surprised to know their news.

Even for those who were with me in elementary school it was easy to tell who would get married early.. who would be having children by now, who is pursuing a master’s degree.. who is leading a normal peaceful life as a housewife.. who is having a good career and who will stay where they are for years to come. It’s either that all the signs would show from an early age of how each and everyone will want to live his life and where he will be.. or it’s simply because people get what best suit them or what they can handle best.

I remember someone told me, ‘I can’t imagine you living where I am, and at the same time I can’t imagine me living where you are.. !’, and when I thought about it.. it is so very true. And it’s exactly the same way I feel too.

What a positive thing to think about and remember !

Jordanian couples living in Amman

11

Jordanian couples living abroad

19

* Couples- taken from my Facebook list with the avoidance of double counting.

* Couples = married/ or engaged

The first question that crosses my mind when I get a friend request from a friend that I haven’t seen in a while would be: where are you living, still in Amman?! Maybe It’s part of me wanting to know who shares the same experience.. etc, or how it is that life made us take different paths, and live in different parts of the world.. and it’s really shocking the amount of people whom I know and who no longer live in Amman!

I often get confused when it comes to what people say and consider as a joke. Some of those jokes I find extremely unacceptable, especially when there’s a hidden meaning behind them. I learned it the hard way, I will REFUSE and will never let anyone interfere with my personal life. I will never ever think that revealing what’s personal help in solving problems, cause after marriage your personal life would happen to involve two.. and it’s so unfair to consider it as yours only. I will not allow anyone to cross the lines, and I would fight anyone with ill intentions, causing troubles even without intending to.

It’s just amazing all the levels of maturity that develop after marriage, and it’s astonishing the strong feelings of protection that you get to hold for your little kingdom. There should always be this unbreakable fence around it, and if you let anyone in even if only once, others would also follow, and this will make things way out of control.. what started with a mistake will end up in a tragedy.

I learned that you can say things to the wrong people.. you can hear things that can affect you for quite a long time from the wrong people too.. and when it gets tough you’d find it hard to differentiate between a friend with a good intention but lacks the skill to express, hence gets misunderstood.. and a bad friend hidden carefully behind a colorful mask. You can do many things that might seem vague to others, and this all shouldn’t really hold you back.. cause it would all happen for the one and only reason.. keeping the ship moving smoothly away from any destroying waves.

I learned that it’s great to be sociable, but it’s not too great to be too nice. That it is in your hands to make things work or walk out on them. That you need to open up and be honest with yourself before looking for answers from anywhere or anyone else.. and that patience, faith, and confidence can be the key to almost all closed doors and can get you out of everything including the unthinkable.