I must admit that one of the most important things I have learned during those two semesters is structuring. And not only on paper, but in thinking too. I used to complicate things, and didn’t really know from where to start when having to write anything. When I look back at my very first assignments, It amuses me how much this all have changed.. the style of writing, research and applying the right ways to support any arguments.

Whenever I see people wearing graduation gowns it makes me yearn for next semester (which is the last). But I keep thinking, would I really want to stop the research.. would I be happy to be done with all that Im learning!? There will always be a part of me that wants more.. more knowledge, more education, more definitions, more new concepts, more of being able to talk in any topic and any discussion, more of valid arguments, more of different opinions, .. just more of all.

So would this be a first step for something big? would the little bits of research we’re doing now be just the beginning…

I hope so, and I want so.. studying here is different, it’s definitely more rewarding, stronger, and powerful. Im not the same person I was a year ago. And the more I think about it, the more I want to move forward and go further..

I was so excited for this particular day, and I thought that no matter how busy I am (so busy to just remember now- at midnight that it’s actually the 12th of March), so I will have to do this one post before I sleep. And It makes me more excited to be the first one to do it.. since we’re ahead of everyone!!!

Being away makes me want to talk about what ‘Jordan’ means to me now.. the way I see it, feel it, and love it more and more..

Jordan.. It is the word that I enjoy hearing the most now that I am away.. It is the word I proudly say when asked ‘from where are you’.. It is the word that has a unique sweet echo.. it is the one word that brings back the happiest memories, loving friends and family.

For me, Jordan is not only Petra and Dead Sea.. it is in the generous people… the security.. the precious feeling of belonging..

Jordan is not only in the mountains and desert.. it is in the warmness in its air.. the coziness of its streets..

Jordan is in what I feel each time the plane lands .. it is where I want to be buried.. it is the very one place that will remain in my heart no matter where I am…

BAJO, belonging, Dead Sea, Jordan, Jordan, Petra, security, 12th of March

I sent some photos to my sister, and her reply was very unexpected.

‘I LOVE them, this is the first time I see you looking like this, living abroad really suits you!!!’

It sounds strange hearing those words from her and knowing how much she misses me…!

I often get confused when it comes to what people say and consider as a joke. Some of those jokes I find extremely unacceptable, especially when there’s a hidden meaning behind them. I learned it the hard way, I will REFUSE and will never let anyone interfere with my personal life. I will never ever think that revealing what’s personal help in solving problems, cause after marriage your personal life would happen to involve two.. and it’s so unfair to consider it as yours only. I will not allow anyone to cross the lines, and I would fight anyone with ill intentions, causing troubles even without intending to.

It’s just amazing all the levels of maturity that develop after marriage, and it’s astonishing the strong feelings of protection that you get to hold for your little kingdom. There should always be this unbreakable fence around it, and if you let anyone in even if only once, others would also follow, and this will make things way out of control.. what started with a mistake will end up in a tragedy.

I learned that you can say things to the wrong people.. you can hear things that can affect you for quite a long time from the wrong people too.. and when it gets tough you’d find it hard to differentiate between a friend with a good intention but lacks the skill to express, hence gets misunderstood.. and a bad friend hidden carefully behind a colorful mask. You can do many things that might seem vague to others, and this all shouldn’t really hold you back.. cause it would all happen for the one and only reason.. keeping the ship moving smoothly away from any destroying waves.

I learned that it’s great to be sociable, but it’s not too great to be too nice. That it is in your hands to make things work or walk out on them. That you need to open up and be honest with yourself before looking for answers from anywhere or anyone else.. and that patience, faith, and confidence can be the key to almost all closed doors and can get you out of everything including the unthinkable.

Could it be possible to get all the good news all at once and in the same day!!!?

The sad thing though is there’s no one to share with since it’s 6 am back in Amman! I hate the time difference.. I really do! And now when I finally get to share it and wait till someone wakes up, it wouldn’t feel the same.. at least not for me.. there won’t be any jumping or screaming left!

I need to say it NOW!